“He who speaks does not know. He who knows does not speak.” – Lao Tzu
In this loud, noisy world full of non-stop chatterboxes, the strong and silent type is becoming a rare breed. However, science and real-world examples have shown that people who avoid idle talk and speak concisely have distinct advantages over their louder counterparts in life.
In this fast-paced world, many of us have formed the habit of constantly talking and expressing our thoughts out loud without much filtering. However, the wisest amongst us tend to speak less and only open their mouths when they have something meaningful to say.
Science has shown that people who talk less are generally more respected, appear more intelligent to others, and lead calmer, more successful, and happier lives. In this blog post, we will explore 8 special qualities and strengths of the strong and silent type.
1. Higher Perceived Intelligence
The most intelligent people create new ideas, solve even the toughest problems with ease, and can explain complex topics using the fewest words.
They take in more information than they put out, functioning almost like a computer – the more quality data they have on a subject, the more innovative solutions they can come up with.
The most brilliant innovators in history – from Einstein to Steve Jobs – created novel ideas and solved problems using the fewest words. Clear and concise communication indicates an ability to filter thoughts efficiently.
Speaking too much, on the other hand, exposes people’s thought processes and any cognitive gaps. Intelligent listeners take in more information than they put out while less sharp talkers do the reverse.
2. No Regretful Words
Those who speak less are unlikely to say things they later wish they hadn’t. They understand certain personal matters are best kept private.
With less talking comes less oversharing of confidential information and fewer “I shouldn’t have said that” moments. The more people talk aimlessly, the likelier they are to let something inappropriate slip out. Hence, the quiet ones keep it short and sweet to minimize mess-ups.
3. Higher Respect From Others
When Nelson Mandela was asked where he learnt to be a great leader, he referenced his father – a tribal chief who was always the last to speak at village meetings.
Yet whenever he did open his mouth, people would listen attentively. Likewise, silent personalities earn people’s respect and attention when they finally do share their views. Their words hold power and weight.
4. Higher Success Rate
A famous music school experiment divided students into groups. The most talented musicians practiced only 3.5 hours a day, while the rest practiced longer.
When asked, the star students attributed their rapid skill development to practicing alone in a quiet environment, away from distractions. Similarly, people who avoid idle chatter focus that time bettering their craft, hence increasing their chances of success.
Solving complex problems require observing issues from novel angles. Therefore, the least innovative people are those arrogantly anchored in their worldview. Humble listeners truly understand different viewpoints, combine ideas in novel ways, question assumptions, and spot overlooked patterns – resulting in creative solutions.
5. Avoids Unnecessary Arguments
Outspoken and argumentative types often try to debate others to prove themselves right. In contrast, the strong and silent have no inclination to get into pointless verbal battles to inflate their egos.
They would rather walk away peacefully than waste time and energy bickering, while keeping their dignity intact. When people clash in an argument, the one who loses his cool first, also loses credibility.
The composed listener avoids heated conflict by understanding the other’s viewpoint first before gently steering opinions. This builds rapport and trust. Factually correcting others directly puts them on the defensive so they ignore the message. Strategic quiet persuaders get people to see new truths for themselves.
6. Develops Deeper Relationships
It’s a myth that only extroverts can be friendly. True friendship is about understanding people deeper through emotional intelligence and relating to them.
The silent type does this by listening more and reacting less. They pick up on the feelings and motives behind words. Consequently, introverts can foster closer personal bonds.
7. Commands Attention and Respect in Groups
In meetings, aggressive talkers states their opinions forcefully without allowing others to get a word in. However, when the silent person finally speaks after patiently hearing different views, people listen up.
Their words hold special meaning since they talk selectively. Their sound judgment also stands out from more superficial participants. Workplace conflicts waste time and hurt productivity.
However loud aggressive types pour fuel on the fire with their forceful opinions and demands. In contrast, modest listeners allow both sides to vent before summarizing the key issues tactfully – leading to faster, smoother resolution. People feel “heard”, lower their guards and become open to mediation.
8. Nurtures Relationships Through Communication
People who talk less make the effort to genuinely understand others before reacting. They pay attention, ask thoughtful questions, and clarify stances non-judgmentally.
Such mindful communication nurtures trust and respect in any relationship – be it professional or personal. It prevents misunderstandings that can gradually erode bonds.
People open their hearts and reveal emotional truths only to those who make them feel safe, understood, valued and unjudged. Over-talkers thirsty for attention rarely nurture intimate bonds. Thoughtful listeners provide that non-threatening sounding board that deepens vulnerabilities, insights, trust and affection. This cements relationships.
The Bottom Line
Speaking too much without purpose damages our credibility and relationships. On the other hand, mindfully using words economically makes people sit up and pay attention.
The strength lies not in mere noise-making through non-stop blabbering – but rather in making each word count. As the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu put it elegantly: “He who speaks does not know. He who knows does not speak.”
