A new year brings fresh energy, goals and motivation to improve our lives. But by February, most resolutions fall by the wayside from lack of a plan or too much ambition without accountability.
In this article, I will shares wisdom gained from mistakes, observations and life experiences across four key areas – influence, relationships, physical health and mental wisdom. These small but mighty hacks are simple to implement, designed to compound positive effects over time.
I’m excited to dive into the details, so you can choose techniques aligned to your growth goals this year. Let’s level up together in 2024!
Influence Hacks: How to Create Positive Change
Humans crave being seen, understood and validated. We can gain instant rapport and impact by intentionally meeting this core emotional need.
1. Be genuinely interested, not just interesting
Dazzling people with our wit or wisdom often leaves them more impressed by us than connected to us. The antidote? Asking questions from a place of care. This shows others they matter while revealing who they truly are.
Try to discover their story, motivations, fears and dreams. Listen fully without thinking ahead to your next comment. Validate any insecurities or challenges they share to build trust in your support.
2. Compliment character over style
We tend to praise people’s fashion sense, haircuts or diets. But shifting to less visible attributes can touch them deeply. Notice their perseverance in facing obstacles, resilience in bouncing back from a mistake or compassion in serving others.
Sincerely complimenting their emotional intelligence, thought processes or principles makes you stand out as discerning their substance over style.
3. Lead with “please” over demands
No one likes being ordered around. We chafe at direct commands, even as we want to help. Prefacing requests with “please” lowers resistance because it conveys respect. People become more willing to fulfill polite appeals versus blunt expectations.
4. Validate when people are vulnerable
The friends we cherish most are ones who hold space for us. Whether we share an embarrassing story, a personal struggle or a heartfelt passion, their listening ear and empathy mean the world.
We can be that person for others too. If someone confides a difficulty, insecurity or dream, pause before problem-solving. First appreciate their trust and reassure them of your non-judgment.
This emotional validation cements bonds that withstand time’s tests.
5. Defuse arguments with unexpected kindness
In the heat of most fights, everyone believes they are right in their reasoning or wounded feelings. Tensions run high, fuses run short.
Insert cool water on fiery emotions by first validating their perspective. Then gently praise an admirable quality you appreciate in them, totally unrelated to the conflict.
This emotional whiplash shakes up the adrenalized brain stuck in attack mode and reopens it to communicate. With emotions settling, you transform not just the interaction but often the relationship.
Relationship Hacks: How to Deepen Key Bonds
Our closest relationships thrive when no one leads but everyone grows together. Here are ways to foster mutual understanding.
6. Support instead of command
It’s easy slip into controlling mode believing our authority or competence tops another’s. But influence rooted in respect outlasts that won by position. Ask others’ input on decisions affecting them before imposing your ideas or rules.
If they make a mistake, don’t shame them. Share how you’ve messed up there too and help them build the skill. This “we’re in it together” mindset earns trust and connection beyond shallow compliance.
7. Have meaningless conversations
We don’t bond deeply only through discussing philosophy or politics. In fact some of the strongest ties between friends or couples come from joking about a funny meme, bantering over favorite sports team or chatting aimlessly about nothing consequential.
Removing constant pressure to have serious or smart dialogues gives space for authentic intimacy. The “pointlessness” liberates honesty and humor that relaxes us into deeper relating.
8. Listen more than problem-solve when people vent
When someone is upset, hurting or angry, reflexively jumping into solution-mode often backfires. Because they first want to emote and be heard in their experience before considering options to shift it.
Hit pause on advice like “Don’t worry – this is happening for good reason” or “Why don’t you just let it go?” This invalidates their felt experience. Instead remain present to their pain, sending empathy and care without having to fix them.
9. Don’t criticize how people feel
When emotions seem irrational, overblown or too mild for the situation, it’s tempting to judge the response as weird or wrong. But there’s always a reason why something evokes a certain reaction from a person’s history or a hurt you’re unaware of.
Rather than say “You’re overthinking this” or “This shouldn’t even bother you,” seek first to understand their experience from their lens without evaluating if the feeling fits your logic. This emotional validation cements trust and rapport.
10. Agree no one cries alone
Generously sharing encouragement, laughter and celebration with loved ones comes easier than holding space for their darkness or brokenness. But determining to bear witness to their pain begets deep loyalty.
By committing no one suffers alone in your circle, your steady solidarity through distress teaches resilience. And not having to hide hardship lessens its shame, fueling faster healing.
Health Hacks: How to Make Gradual Gains
Minor daily choices compound into our greatest personal transformation or deterioration over decades. Micro-hacks in these areas make tangible differences.
11. Train emotional intelligence too
We know disciplined exercise grows physical muscle but emotional intelligence needs exercise too. Since few life skills get taught in school, we must mentor our own mindset.
Each small decision or completed commitment strengthens neural pathways for self-trust. Gradually this builds confidence, problem-solving skills and stress resilience. Start small – choose one personal goal or decision to achieve daily, however simple. Consistency matters more than scale.
12. One minute plank strengthens the core
Thanks to sitting 8+ hours a day hunched over devices, lower back pain affects most moderns at some point. But a 60-second core activating move can offset this.
In plank position, keep back flat and abs engaged for just one minute upon waking. Integrating this small habit over time banishes back pain by stretching tight hips while preventing injury-causing imbalances.
13. Have salad before indulging junk
We know leafy greens supply essential nutrients for optimal health lacking in processed food. But depriving ourselves completely backfires when cravings hit. Here’s how you can have your kale and eat cookie dough too.
Eating fiber and nutrient-dense greens before indulging sweets or fast food leads to lower glucose and insulin spikes compared to eating them alone. So starting meals with salad primes your body to metabolize treats in a less inflammatory way.
14. Check personal care for hormone-disrupting parabens
Many shampoos, cosmetics and fragrances contain parabens – preservatives that interfere with our endocrine system and reproductive health. But reading labels to avoid this ubiquitous ingredient clears exposure.
Seeking paraben-free skin and hair products ensures you don’t undermine your own hormones. It also supports companies producing safer goods better aligned to wellness.
Wisdom Hacks: How to Seek Deeper Truths
Beyond getting our physical environment in order through organization hacks, clarifying our inner world gives direction, meaning and purpose.
15. Compare needs versus wants when buying stuff
It’s easy to justify purchases out of desire versus necessity. So when considering non-essential items, check if it satisfies a core need or not. If something better serves your values or goals, invest there instead of superficial status symbols.
Ask:
- Does this contribute to my life purpose/vision?
- Will this add value long-term or just short-term happiness?
- What current needs does this meet vs. wants?
Modeling this discernment from previous generations provides checks against overconsumption.
16. Investigate your own red flags
We often readily critique others. But the paths to growth and happiness come from courageously exploring our own unconscious biases, inconsistencies and triggers behind unhelpful behaviors.
Identify your top three automatic emotional reactions or negative habits. Then dig into when and why you developed them. Seek the roots in past coping patterns, betrayals or beliefs no longer serving current context or goals.
Shining light on red flags shrinking your potential frees you to shift them. This self honesty transforms relationships as you attune better to others too.
17. Train small decision muscle daily
If constantly overwhelmed by choices, build discernment skills by regularly practicing small preferences around simple options – what to wear, order or watch.
Trusting your judgment muscle on insignificant matters builds confidence and clarity to tackle bigger decisions without overthinking or self-doubt.
18. Accomplish tasks taking under 60 seconds
Procrastination often happens due to underestimating a task’s quick ease. But even micro-actions needing less than minute, done today prevents hassles tomorrow.
Whether flossing teeth, logging a meal, texting back or paying bills, don’t let tiny tasks pile up to bog you down. Momentum gets built by doing what takes just moments.
19. Always consider how to help others
While seeking self-optimization, we can’t forget life’s essence comes from uplifting each other. When pursuing goals, ask periodically:
- How can this skill/asset/resource support others too?
- Who can I reach out to contribute value towards today?
- What struggling friend can I lift up/ validate?
Training our mind to notice where we can contribute encourages moving from selfishness to selflessness. And generosity focused on empowering wellbeing – not gaining credit – sustains meaning.
The beauty of these hacks lies in their integrated simplicity. None take dramatic overhaul but subtly and steadily guide our transformation.
Pick a couple weekly to turn goals into incremental growth habits. Over months and years, these positive changes compound to help us show up as our best selves.
I’m excited to build emotional intelligence, nurture relationships and make wiser choices with these insights as guides. What’s one area you want to develop this year? Let me know one hack that resonates most for your growth in comments below!
