How to Stop Letting FOMO Control Your Life

Do you constantly feel like your friends are living more exciting lives than you? When you scroll through social media, do you find yourself longing for the vacations, parties, and experiences that others are having? If so, you’re not alone. 

What is FOMO?

FOMO stands for Fear Of Missing Out. It’s that nagging feeling that somewhere out there, something awesome is happening and you’re not a part of it. FOMO is an extremely common phenomenon in the digital age. According to a 2018 study, over 70% of young adults experience FOMO. 

Social media fuels FOMO by providing a constant window into the carefully curated highlights and experiences that others share online. It triggers a sense that your life is boring compared to everyone else’s. This breeds discontentment with your current situation.

FOMO can seem like an inescapable part of modern life. But it doesn’t have to control you or prevent you from finding fulfillment. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll break down the psychology behind FOMO and give you proven strategies to overcome it. 

Why Do We Experience FOMO?

To conquer FOMO, you first need to understand the science behind it. FOMO is rooted in primal parts of the human brain related to threat responses, reward seeking, and social belonging. Here’s a deeper look:

The Reptilian Brain

The reptilian brain is the most primitive and reactionary part of the human brain. It controls basic functions like breathing and heartbeat. But it’s also responsible for threat responses and self-preservation instincts.  

When the reptilian brain senses a threat to our safety or survival, it triggers fear and anxiety. On social media, this manifests as FOMO. Seeing others doing exciting things can activate the reptilian brain into thinking you’re being left out of experiences needed to thrive socially.

The Reward System

Deep in the brain are reward pathways that drive us to seek out pleasure and new experiences. Getting a reward causes dopamine release, which motivates us to repeat behaviors. 

On social media, rewards come in the form of likes, comments, reactions, and notifications. When we see others getting rewards for their experiences, it primes our brain to want that dopamine hit too. FOMO kicks in as we start craving the validation and excitement we imagine they’re getting.

The Need to Belong 

Humans have an innate need to belong to a social group. Back when we lived in tribes, being kicked out could mean death. So we evolved a deep instinct to conform to social norms and behaviors.

When we see others going to parties or taking glamorous vacations, our primal brain worries that we’re not conforming and missing crucial bonding experiences. FOMO takes over as we scramble to rejoin the pack.

How FOMO Negatively Impacts Your Life

Giving into FOMO can be detrimental to mental health and prevent you from being present and enjoying your life. Here are some of the ways FOMO can take a toll:

– Reduced happiness and life satisfaction: Constantly comparing your life to the curated highlights of others breeds feelings of inadequacy. This erodes self-esteem and makes it harder to appreciate the good in your own life.

– Financial issues: Trying to keep up with others by taking lavish vacations or eating at trendy restaurants can wreak havoc on your budget. FOMO leads to overspending.

– Decreased productivity: Scrolling endlessly through social media feeds in an attempt to see what you’re missing out on eats up valuable time. Hours vanish that could have been spent on personal goals. 

– Poor sleep: Doom scrolling before bed overstimulates your brain, making it hard to unwind. The blue light from phones interferes with sleep hormones, reducing sleep quality.

– Loss of connection: Constant digital distraction and comparison prevents us from being fully present. This hampers our ability to foster real-life connections. 

– Increased anxiety and depression: Both anxiety and depression are strongly linked with social media use and FOMO tendencies. The distortions create a basis for both disorders to thrive. 

Clearly, FOMO can seriously limit your happiness, health, and potential if left unchecked. Next, let’s talk about strategies to overcome this detrimental social media spiral.

Tips to Overcome FOMO and Be More Present

Here are 5 research-backed ways to tackle FOMO head-on:

1. Limit Social Media Usage 

You can’t compare yourself to things you never see, so limiting social media use is key. Set times to be completely off social media, like an hour before bed or at least one day a week. Unfollow accounts that trigger FOMO.

2. Question Social Media vs. Reality

Remember that social media offers carefully curated glimpses into people’s lives, not the whole picture. Those vacation photos show the highlights, not the arguments or boredom. Question FOMO thoughts against reality.

3. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

Mindfulness trains your brain to stay present and focus on the current moment. Maintain awareness of when FOMO thoughts arise and refocus on the now. Keeping a gratitude journal also reinforces appreciation for what you have.

4. Reframe Thoughts of Missing Out 

When you feel like you’re missing out, reframe your thinking. Remind yourself that no one can do or have it all. Reflect on the unique experiences you have access to that others don’t. 

5. Live Intentionally Offline

Carve out time for offline hobbies and activities you enjoy, and intentionally share your experiences. Post about your camping trip or museum visits. This reframes your life as exciting and FOMO-worthy too.

How to Induce Healthy FOMO in Others

Once you begin overcoming destructive social comparison, you can have fun intentionally inducing benign FOMO in others. Post about setting goals, healthy habits, and achievements. Showcase your life as aspirational.

Get creative and share highlights like:

– Your completion of a 5K race or fitness accomplishments

– Books you’re reading or classes you’re taking to grow

– Cooking tasty new healthy recipes

– Fun DIY projects you do around your home

– Hobbies like gardening, painting, or playing an instrument

The possibilities are endless. When others see you living your best life, it creates positive motivation for them to do the same.

Moving Forward With More Presence and Purpose

At the end of the day, overcoming FOMO is about breaking free from unhealthy social comparison and living more presently. Implementing the strategies above can help you get started.

Here are a few final tips for continuing to foster presence and purpose:

– Check in with your emotions often. Notice when you feel anxious or discontent. Ask where it stems from.

– Align your daily actions with your personal values. Make sure your time reflects what matters most to you. 

– Practice mindfulness every day, even for just a few minutes. 

– When you catch yourself comparing again, self-soothe with compassion. Old habits die hard.

– Consider deleting social media from your phone if needed to short-circuit mindless scrolling.

With consistent practice, you can retrain your brain to resist FOMO’s grasp. You hold the power to live more meaningfully based on your own needs and desires instead of others’ projected social lives.

Does FOMO negatively impact you? What strategies have helped you stay present? Share your experiences below to help others overcome FOMO too.